Dear Boss

I've worked for you for almost two years now. At first, you seemed like a sweet, laid back person who would be more than happy with my constant tardiness and general lack of structure. Our relationship felt so natural; so effortless. Granted, in the first few months of working for you, I showed signs of extreme laziness and complete lack of creativity. I realize now that I didn't produce the stories you wanted me to in a timely fashion, but Boss, I had so much going on.

You of all people should know the things that have were on my mind back then. Planning a wedding, applying for a green card and buying a house felt like a full time job, and writing was the last thing on my mind. You understood this, and put little pressure on me to be productive. While I appreciated this, Boss, I now realize that while I wasn't being a very good employee, you weren't being a very good Boss either.

So when I told you that it might be a good idea for you to give me deadlines, challenges and critisism, I figured it would make me more focused. What I didn't envision, however, was that you would go from being a relaxed employer to an authoritarian bitch. Before, you let me watch Gilmore Girls and eat Cherry Garcia frozen yoghurt, and now you make me work long hours every day. I write because I love writing, Boss, I really do, but if you could pay me sometime that would be really nice. And while discipline is a good thing, I think your new regimen of having me attempt to write a whole chapter every day is a little bit harsh. I mean, yes, it would make me finish my novel in a month, but let's face it, I have other things to do too.

By other things, Boss, I mean doing dishes, Swiffering the living room, complaining about the upstairs neighbor and surfing Amazon for interesting books. When I do these things now, you get really disappointed in me and coax me to return to my writing. If I get up to refill my water, you question my thirst. If I need to use the bathroom, you question the size of my bladder. If I need to take a break, you question my commitment.

So, Boss, if you lighten up just a tad, I will try to be a good employee and finish my novel for you. Just promise me one thing, Boss: every day when I look into the mirror and see you, please give me a smile. I deserve it.

With Love,

Ina